Category Archives: shadow work

questions about manifestation, shadow work

Secrets of manifestation!

I find I can’t manifest things successfully – why might this be?

There could be several reasons why you might not be able to manifest things successfully. Here are some possible factors to consider:

    • Lack of Clarity: It’s important to be clear about what you want to manifest. If you’re not specific, it may be difficult to attract what you desire.
    • Resistance: If you have doubts or limiting beliefs about your ability to manifest, this can create resistance that can prevent your desires from materializing. You may need to address these beliefs and work on releasing any negative emotions that may be holding you back.
    • Lack of Action: Manifestation isn’t just about thinking positive thoughts, it also involves taking action toward your goals. You need to be proactive and take steps to make your desires a reality.
    • Timing: Sometimes the universe has a different plan for us, and what we want may not be what is best for us at the moment. It’s important to trust the timing of the universe and have faith that everything will happen in its own time.
    • Alignment: Manifestation is about aligning your thoughts, beliefs, and actions with your desires. If you’re not in alignment, you may be blocking your own manifestations.
    • Lack of Gratitude: Gratitude is an important part of the manifestation process. If you’re not grateful for what you already have, you may be sending a message to the universe that you don’t appreciate what you have and don’t need more.

    Video – the secrets of manifestation

    It’s important to keep in mind that manifestation is a process, and it may take time to see results. It’s also important to approach the process with an open mind and a positive attitude. If you continue to have trouble manifesting, you may want to consider seeking guidance from a coach or therapist who can help you work through any blocks or limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.

    I wonder what role limiting beliefs play in my failure to manifest?

    Limiting beliefs can play a significant role in your ability to manifest your desires. These beliefs are thoughts or beliefs that you hold about yourself, others, or the world that limit your potential, block your creativity, and keep you stuck in old patterns and behaviors.

    If you have limiting beliefs around your ability to manifest, such as “I’m not worthy of my desires,” “I never get what I want,” or “I’m not good enough to achieve my goals,” these beliefs can act as a roadblock to your manifestation efforts. They create negative energy that attracts negative outcomes, and they prevent you from taking the necessary action to bring your desires to fruition.

    To overcome limiting beliefs, it’s important to identify them and challenge them. Ask yourself if your belief is really true, or if it’s just a negative thought pattern that you’ve become accustomed to. You can also try reframing your beliefs into positive affirmations that support your manifestation goals. For example, if you believe that you’re not worthy of your desires, try repeating affirmations such as “I am deserving of all the abundance and joy that life has to offer.”

    It’s important to remember that changing limiting beliefs takes time and effort. It’s a process of rewiring your thinking patterns and creating new neural pathways in your brain. But with dedication and persistence, you can transform your mindset and overcome any limiting beliefs that may be standing in the way of your manifestation success.

    Would psychotherapy help me overcome my limiting beliefs?

    Yes, psychotherapy can be a helpful tool in overcoming limiting beliefs. A therapist can help you identify and explore the beliefs that are holding you back, and work with you to develop new ways of thinking and behaving that support your manifestation goals.

    During therapy, you may work on changing negative thought patterns, exploring the origins of your limiting beliefs, and developing new coping strategies for dealing with difficult emotions and situations. You may also learn techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or mindfulness-based therapies that can help you shift your thinking patterns and reframe your beliefs in a more positive and empowering way.

    Therapy can be a safe and supportive environment to work through any emotional or psychological blocks that may be preventing you from manifesting your desires. It can help you gain greater self-awareness, develop stronger self-esteem, and cultivate a more positive and optimistic mindset that is conducive to manifestation success.

    If you’re considering psychotherapy to help overcome your limiting beliefs, it’s important to find a therapist who is trained and experienced in working with such issues. Look for someone who is open-minded, non-judgmental, and supportive of your personal growth and development. With the right therapist, you can create a positive and empowering therapeutic relationship that can help you overcome your limiting beliefs and achieve your manifestation goals.

Video – overcomng limiting beliefs

I have heard that something called shadow work may also be helpful. What can you tell me about this?

Shadow work is a term that refers to the process of exploring and working through the unconscious or repressed parts of ourselves that we don’t usually acknowledge or accept. These parts are often referred to as our “shadow self.” They may include aspects of ourselves that we don’t like or don’t want to admit to, such as our fears, insecurities, anger, or shame.

The goal of shadow work is to bring these parts of ourselves into the light of our awareness and accept them as a natural part of who we are. By doing this, we can release the energy that was tied up in repressing these parts of ourselves and integrate them into our sense of self. This can lead to greater self-awareness, self-acceptance, and a sense of wholeness.

Video – introduction to shadow work

In terms of manifestation, shadow work can be helpful because it can help us identify and overcome any hidden beliefs or patterns that may be blocking our ability to manifest our desires. For example, if you have a deep-seated fear of success or a belief that you’re not worthy of your desires, these limiting beliefs may be rooted in your shadow self. By exploring these beliefs and bringing them to the surface, you can work on releasing them and creating new, positive beliefs that support your manifestation goals.

Shadow work can be done through various techniques, such as journaling, meditation, therapy, or working with a coach or spiritual teacher. It can be a challenging and sometimes uncomfortable process, but it can also be very rewarding and transformative. If you’re interested in exploring shadow work, it’s important to find a safe and supportive environment where you can do this work at your own pace and with guidance from someone who is experienced in this area.

What else can you tell me about making manifestation work?

Here are some additional tips that can help you make manifestation work:

  • Clarify your desires: Be as specific and clear as possible about what you want to manifest. Visualize your desires in detail and feel the emotions associated with having them.
  • Focus on the positive: Instead of dwelling on what you don’t want, focus your energy on what you do want. Frame your desires in positive language and affirmations.
  • Practice gratitude: Cultivate a sense of gratitude for what you already have in your life. This can help you stay in a positive and abundant mindset that is conducive to manifestation.
  • Take inspired action: While manifestation is not just about taking action, it’s important to take steps towards your desires. Listen to your intuition and take inspired action that feels aligned with your goals.
  • Release attachment: Let go of attachment to the outcome and trust that the universe will bring you what is best for your highest good. Avoid obsessing over your desires or trying to force them to happen.
  • Stay open and receptive: Stay open to receiving your desires in unexpected ways. Be open to synchronicities, signs, and opportunities that may come your way.
  • Practice patience: Manifestation is not always an instant process. Be patient and trust that the universe is working in your favor, even if you don’t see immediate results.

Remember that manifestation is not just about getting what you want, but also about personal growth and development. The process of manifestation can help you cultivate greater self-awareness, positive thinking, and a deeper connection with yourself and the universe.

How do I develop gratitude?

Developing gratitude is a skill that can be cultivated over time with practice. Here are some tips for developing gratitude:

  • Start a gratitude journal: Each day, write down three things you are grateful for. This can help you focus on the positive things in your life and cultivate a habit of gratitude.
  • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help you stay present and aware of the good things in your life. Take time to appreciate the small moments of joy and beauty that you encounter throughout your day.
  • Focus on abundance: Instead of dwelling on what you lack, focus on the abundance in your life. Recognize the resources, opportunities, and relationships that you have and express gratitude for them.
  • Express gratitude to others: Take time to thank the people in your life who have supported and helped you. Expressing gratitude to others can help you feel more connected and increase positive emotions.
  • Practice acts of kindness: Doing something kind for someone else can help you feel grateful for the ability to help others and the positive impact you can have on their lives.
  • Keep a gratitude jar: Write down things you are grateful for on small pieces of paper and place them in a jar. When you’re feeling down or overwhelmed, you can read through the notes and remind yourself of the good things in your life.

Remember that developing gratitude is a process and may not happen overnight. But with consistent practice, you can cultivate a more positive and grateful mindset that can support your manifestation goals.

And what do you mean by take inspired action?

Taking inspired action means taking action towards your desires that feels aligned with your goals and intuition. This is different from taking action out of fear, pressure, or desperation.

Inspired action is guided by your intuition and inner wisdom, and it often feels joyful, energizing, and fulfilling. It may also involve stepping outside of your comfort zone, taking risks, and trying new things.

Here are some examples of inspired action:

  • If you’re looking for a new job, an inspired action could be networking with someone in your field who inspires you.
  • If you’re trying to manifest a new romantic relationship, an inspired action could be joining a new social group or attending events where you might meet new people.
  • If you’re trying to manifest better health, an inspired action could be starting a new exercise routine or trying a new healthy recipe.

Inspired action is not about forcing things to happen, but rather about allowing things to flow and following your intuition. When you take inspired action, you’re sending a clear signal to the universe that you’re ready and willing to receive your desires, and this can help bring them to you more quickly and easily.

emotional healing wounds, shadow work

Resolving Emotional Issues That Prevent Success

A Word About Emotional Healing Workshops

Imagine that when you were a child your mother was too concerned with her own emotional wounds and difficulties to provide you with the loving care and attention you deserved. Maybe she was openly hostile or somehow conveyed the message she didn’t love you. Ever since then you’ve found it hard to trust women or to open yourself fully in an intimate relationship.

Instinctively you know this lack of trust and openness arises because somewhere inside you there’s a young and tender “inner child”, a part of you which was wounded by your mother’s actions. You also instinctively realise that as an adult man, making yourself vulnerable to women may open you to re-experiencing that pain.

Or maybe you don’t realise that, because every time you get into a relationship, the same thing happens – you get hurt again, or you regress to being a little boy with his mummy. That’s because of the unconscious beliefs inside you which only know a certain way of being with a woman.

That’s just how it is. At some time, for some very good reason, you unconsciously created a set of beliefs about how you “have to be” in a relationship with a woman if you’re to get love, or what passes for love. Of course, this was all based on what you learned about relationships with women from your mother.

No matter what the exact situation, this example illustrates why we all behave in ways which recreate emotional challenges or pain, or indeed a total or partial lack of success.

And you won’t really understand why you aren’t successful – in love, or business, or life more generally.  I could offer you hundreds of examples of why men (and women) come to my, and other facilitators’, emotional healing workshops. Only the details differ, the principles are the same, whatever we are dealing with. Speaking of which, what are we dealing with? You name it, we work to repair, heal, and rebalance it. This is the essence of shadow work.

What’s going on here? When we do not get what we want, we have put some essential quality of ourselves out of sight, repressed and denied some fundamental aspect of who we are. This denial or repression is called putting aspects of ourselves into shadow. And although we may know that we put anger, sadness and so on into shadow, we may not be so clear that we are putting strength wisdom, power, expectation, positivity, hope, faith, love and so n into shadow. That is often why we cannot make money or achieve other measures of success. (Read more about the human shadow here.)

Robert Bly spoke of how grief was the unexpressed burden of so many men. Loss of loved ones, lack of love. Shame, humiliation, disrespect. Boarding school. Bullying. Issues with sexuality. Lack of sexual interest. Absent fathers (oh, the number of men who had inadequate or absent fathers). Absent mothers. Smothering mothers. Narcissistic mothers. Angry mothers. Abuse, be it sexual, physical, or emotional. Your lack of leadership in your own life. Not knowing what you want, or not knowing how to get what you want. A sense of powerlessness, impotence or inadequacy. Lack of self esteem. Poor boundaries, an inability to say no. Lack of assertiveness.

Not knowing what love is or how to find it. Being overwhelmed by the need for love. Inability to stand up to the masculine. Inability to stand firm in the face of the feminine. Not feeling masculine, or feeling too feminine. Dysfunctional behaviour. Loneliness. Lack of friendships. Rage, grief, despair. Not seeing any reason to live. Life purpose, and its absence. Addictions. Depression. Despair. Unmourned losses and the grief you carry.

Well. You get the idea, I’m sure.

Video – Robert Bly speaks about the emotional wounds of men.

Emotional Process Work / Shadow Work

Is it too much to suggest that before you can achieve success (whatever that means to you) you must heal your emotional wounds?

In short, no. Watch this video to discover why.

Shadow work video: a means of healing emotional wounds.

Shadow work in groups

In a shadow work or emotional process work group workshop, participants and facilitators start by getting to know and trust each other, so the group develops both strength and safety; enough safety for everyone to explore their problems and challenges, their desire for change, without the fear of being hurt once again.

My colleagues and I are noted for creating a safe “container” in which men (and women in our mixed groups) are safe from being shamed and are in control of the process at all times. Men and women who place their trust in us deserve our respect, and they can stop the process at any point if they feel it is not going in the right direction for them.

There are many ways we can explore and “hold” the parts of you which carry your emotional wounds. There are many techniques available which allow us together to replay the drama of the past, and this time give it a different outcome. It’s like rewriting the last act of the play so that you get the outcome you desire – which in the example at the start of this session might be the ability to open up to women and show your vulnerability so that you can give and receive love fully, openly, and without feeling fear.

The results of our process work can be truly miraculous, because they go right back to the heart of your deepest emotional issues. Our techniques work fast because they are action-oriented and direct. In fact I believe that three months of one-to-one classic counselling or talking therapy is equivalent to a 90 minute session of deep personal work in a group setting, a safe space where you can re-enact your drama and experience a different outcome. Most of the wounds which men and women experienced during childhood were borne alone, so to be witnessed doing your personal healing work in a group can be powerfully restorative and reparative in itself. In addition, each group generates a very special heart-centred energy which helps to hold the participants and hasten their emotional transformation.

One To One Work On Your Shadow

A very good alternative is to do your personal emotional healing work in a one-to-one setting with a qualified facilitator, a shadow healer, well experienced in working with these emotional wounds and issues. There are many of these facilitators – for example, see the register of certified shadow work practitioners on the Healing The Shadow website.

Sure, the techniques are different, but the outcome can is just as dramatic: you will quickly resolve the issues you want to change. The benefit of working in a group is that you are not alone. 

The benefit of working one to one is that you can move at the pace which suits you best. The session is more focused on you, and you have the full attention of the facilitator for as long as you are in the room.

Perhaps the best way of doing your work is to combine a series of personal session with a group session every three months or so. This seems to really speed up progress for most people.